It has been awhile....

Hello there strangers! Or am I the stranger? I know it has been over a week since I have updated this blog. So many things have happened I am not sure where to start. After receiving the AMAZING early morning call from Richard, I contacted Brent at PowerSeeker CrossFit! I met with him on the 14th of January, and what a meeting that was! I knew by speaking with him and taking the tour of the gym as well as being introduced to some of the exercises that I would be completing.... I knew that I was in for a body transformation!

In conclusion to the meeting with Brent, he stated that I would need to get an accurate weight so he knew where to start with my transformation. I have known for a long time that I was going to have to face the music sooner or later; however, I was not ready to see those mean numbers staring back at me until the 26th of January when there was no more "hiding".

On Tuesday the 15th of January, I pulled into a Primary Health Clinic and prepared myself for what I was about to see. I tried to be funny about it.... I tried to be cute about it.... I tried to pretend that it did not matter.... I even tried to tell myself that I was being absurd for worrying about what it was going to say because I was about to change those numbers! When in all actuality, I was horrified and the last place I wanted to be was about to step on a scale to see the damage placed before me. I know that I got myself into this mess and I also know that I am the only one that can get myself out!

I stepped on the scale three times before I about fainted, stepped on the scale again, started to cry, stepped on the scale again, and I even said out loud "this can't be right!", I then stepped on the scale again, OMG this is real! This is my reality! I felt so lost, so ashamed of myself, scared, sad, worried, just about every emotion a person can go through was happening to me all at one time. All I could do was put my shoes and jacket back on, wipe my tears, and walk out of that building as fast as I could!

I got into my car and the only thing I could think of doing was to call Richard. For the first time in my life I was going to have to tell my actual weight to the one person I never wanted to know! I knew it was not hard for him to speculate what the number would be; however, I was not ready to share that information with myself let alone another person! He answered and I was crying. I told him that I had just weighed myself. His response was "what it the number we are beginning with?" I felt a HUGE piece of me crush when I spoke those horrible numbers. (Sorry friends.... I am certainly not ready to share that information with any of you at this time.) 

Richard spoke to me in the most gentle voice and explained to me that the numbers meant nothing, all the numbers gave us was a starting point. With everything in me..... I wish that it could be that simple; however, this situation is so much more that I originally thought it was. I then had to call Brent at PowerSeeker CrossFit and tell him my mean numbers. Again, I cried and cried as I had to tell another person. Brent also spoke to me gently and explained it was just a starting number. I still did not feel as if it was just a number! This is my reality.

Till the next time,

Monica